my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
