Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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