she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
