The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
