If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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