ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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