actually, I'm a sock model
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
