hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
