I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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