The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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