going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
