I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize