i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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