did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
