Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I smell stomach acid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
