i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
