I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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