it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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