We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
