Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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