dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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