Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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