Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it glows. i had to have it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
