I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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