I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
