What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
