You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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