or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize