I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
