Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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