remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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