I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
false alarm, still single
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
