Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
