Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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