Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
