I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
