i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
