At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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