My sheets look like a crime scene.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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