Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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