Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
