She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
