Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
