well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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