just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
