Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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