I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
