did you get engaged???
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
