Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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