tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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