All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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