omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
