Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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