But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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