i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
