GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
