Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
