i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
