A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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